Hello gamers and welcome to my article where we will look at my cool screenshots ok, and I will also explain why they are great in this thrilling and thought provoking opinion piece here we go.
First, heres a picture of an eye. It is very detailed and uses the fabled “backlight technique” to give it a very glowy glow, and thats pretty cool.
Here we got what you think is a screenshot of elephants from Revolutionary Girl Utena, but it’s actually a picture of my winning game of “Age of Empires 2” where I played as the Khmer and owned the standard bot with elephants and scorpions. As you can tell the elephants are very powerful, this is why Khmer is a very highly regarded civilization in Age of Empires 2, with their epic 30% winrate in online games.
A decade ago, K-On!! was a very popular anime among “”””cute anime girl enthuaists”””” and general anime fans. These days it is exclusively watched by anime snobs who celeberate it’s excellent artistic qualities. This screenshot perfectly showcases that with a really cool background. It’s like a fish-eye lens! It gives you a great overview of the room too. I have many more lens effect screenshots in my folder which I will write about in the future. But now I have to go, goodbye.
Hello true subscribers, it’s your pals at the BUTTBUDDZ here with a new article straight from Buttbuddz HQ. This article is yet another one on the very popular Mahou Shojo show “Pretty Cure” which, as happens once a year, has recently started a new series, named “Star☆Twinkle Precure”, and while only one episode has aired so far, we at the BUTTBUDDZ has already cracked the code and we have figured out what the show is all about, so we present our analysis.
The first point of interest of any subscribers watching the first episode, is when our main character Hikaru first goes to space in the first episode. One of the first things she sees (and also the audience sees) is a stream of space FISH, and they look quite friendly too (unlike those vile brute fish in Ratboy Genius). This of course represents the fact that FISH are universal and without FISH there can be no UNIVERSE.
The next point of interest of this episode, happens around half-way through the episode when our second protaganist, Lala, is introduced, who is an alien girl who Hikaru meets, however to most brutes there is nothing more to it than that. However with an PHD in funny youtube video, I can reveal there is more to it than that.
Alright so you might think theres nothing special going on here, however I want you to pay attention to her hair ornaments. If your eye is untrained you might think it’s just an heart on them, however if you inspect them closely you will see they feature the colors of Pepsi, and from many angles they resemble a Pepsi logo. This is no coincidence, because these hair ornaments represent love for refreshing Pepsi. The fact that these symbols of Pepsi are on a alien also means that Pepsi is drinken by thirsty individuals all over the universe, perhaps sugguesting that eventually in this series of Precure they will visit the Pepsi galaxy? Time will tell but yeah thanks for reading my article please subscribe to my youtube and also bookmark my webpage and don’t forget to print out this article on your game boy printer and give it to all your friends, thanks.
Everyone has a dream. Here at the Buttbuddz, our dream is to make a successful and revolutionary game console. We’d like to introduce everyone to our very own gaming device…
The Buttbuddz GAMEBUDDZ!
So, what exactly does the GameBuddz play? Just about every game imaginable! The GameBuddz comes pre-loaded with over 3,000 games, to say nothing of the millions of other games compatible with it!
With the GameBuddz, you’ll never need another console again because of how just versatile our console is! (As it supports Atari/Amiga/CDi/Colecovision/Intellivision/Sega /NeoGeo/TurboGrafix-16/Odyssey/3DO/Commodore/Nintendo/And everything in between!)
The Gamebuddz comes with an impressive 16 GB Memory, a multi-language and multi-functional high-quality speaker, as well a built-in audio-and-visual recorder function so you can easily make a let’s play straight from the Gamebuddz itself. (And it can even connect directly to YouTube so you can upload your gaming experiences straight to your subscribers!)
Here’s footage of the Gamebuddz in action; just look at how well it plays PLATYPUS DUCK GAME. The Gamebuddz runs video games so incredibly well, it puts the most high-end gaming computers available to shame!
Of course, we’re not stopping at handhelds. If you’re gonna make consoles, you’ve gotta play with the big boys; that means you also have to make a home-held console, because home is one of the best places to play video games! Version 2 of our video game console will be releasing very soon; it’s much better than the first version, as we’re partnering with Pepsi to make it.
…Introducing, the GAMEBUDDZ PRO-PSI!
The Gamebuddz Pro-Psi is the best home console one could ever dream of owning; with it’s matt black (not to be confused with “matte black”) tunnel empty shell, mirror paint, aircraft-grade plastic frames, and our patented MANY CRYSTAL PEPSI TECHNOLOGY, there’s no reason to choose the Pro-Psi over it’s competition!
Xbox One? The Pro-Psi will make sure it’s an Xbox None. Nintendo Switch? After you get a Pro-Psi, you’ll be tossing it in a ditch. PS4? After buying the Pro-Psi you’ll just buy four more! Even the PC isn’t safe, as the Pro-Psi will make your games run and play as clearly as the Pep Sea itself! (And by extension, making it the most Fish-approved console on the entire market, too!)
To the first person that not only subscribed to us, but also purchased our consoles you just brought tears to our eyes. Tears of joy!
Thank you so much for your support we promise to continue our tech company and evolve it in the gaming world. After all, we’re just a couple of butts with a dream!
Today, NASA had finally confirmed its plans to send satellites into the Pepsi Galaxy. The organization says it’s for researching purposes, as data on the galaxy is still surprisingly scarce.
Discovered over a decade ago on August 4, 2008, the Pepsi Galaxy is noted for all of it’s planets resembling a certain soft drink’s famous logo, as well as having two different orbiting paths for said planets to rotate on.
Of course, this is by no means the first time NASA has acknowledged Pepsi; For starters, NASA has an instrument named after it that they used with a spacecraft that was heading to Pluto. Pepsi itself was no slouch in regards to heading to the stars either, as throughout the 1980s, plenty of advertisements were made, hoping that the soft drink would make it to outer space.
Eventually, NASA and PepsiCo would team up in 1985 and send a can of Pepsi into outer space aboard one of it’s space shuttles, making history for not just space travel, but for the soda industry as well!
With NASA satellites heading towards the Pepsi Galaxy soon, one wonders what they’ll find out there; will there be Pepsi on these planets? Will there be life on them? How about life on the planets that drink Pepsi? Could they even find a Pepsi Universe!?
Overall, everyone here at the Buttbuddz wish NASA the best of luck on their journey to discover the Pepsi Galaxy. Oh, and we also wish for you, the potential subscriber reading this article, to like, comment, and follow us for more amazing Pepsi News!
Howdy folks, what’s the good word? Today’s article is something very special, and very spiritual too. It’s about the american people and their connection to nature.
As everyone knows, most places on earth people take off their shoes before enterting their home. It’s the most common way to do things, and is therfore the standard. However, in “The America” people do not take off their shoes before entering their home, they leave them on! You might wonder “But why do they wear shoes indoors?” and that question is exactly what I am going to tell you right now.
As most people know, The America is a country of nature. Outside the giant corporate nightmare cities of course, but it’s still a country filled with giant national parks and spirituality. The american people have a close spiritual connection with their ancestors who settled the land, and to the native americans who celebrated nature just as americans do today. To respect their land, Americans wear shoes inside to lessen the seperation between the home and nature, which makes Americans a very spiritual people who live one with the wild. This is the American way of life, and I think we could all learn something from Americans respect of nature.
And don’t forget you too can enjoy nature with delicious, refreshing all-natural Pepsi-Cola. Quench that thirst with that refreshing Pepsi-Cola! Yum! Yum!
Smears go by many names; in-betweens, multiples, happy accidents, outline distortions, sakuga, among countless others. However, one thing everyone can agree on is that smears are the little frames in animation that smooth things out, and speed things up. They’re the unsung heroes of cartoons; (usually) undetectable to the untrained eye, while still keeping the other frames in line.
The smears featured in today’s article have been given to us from the courtesy of the Nobaddy Institute of Fine Animation; only the finest of screencaps (handpicked from the institute’s collection by Nobaddy himself) are going to be shown.
However, what makes this a “blind review” is that there was no context given for any of these smears! After all, the truest form of reviewing is having absolutely no context whatsoever; that way, you remain completely unbiased as you watch/read/play whatever you’re reviewing!
These smears aren’t going to review themselves, though, so we should probably get started already…
SMEAR 1# Kaboom!
You know how sometimes in cartoons, characters explode? Well, in this smear, the poor toon has been blown to smithereens; poor guy… Don’t worry about him too much though; he’ll be back to normal in about 24 frames or so.
9/10: A classic smear.
SMEAR #2: Delicious!
Wait, this isn’t a smear… It’s a long-distance anime cook-out! Just look at those long-distance anime patties cooking on all of those grills; they’re even grilling the buns! The buns! It’s almost like these generic anime background characters are supposed to stay still so we can focus on the food…
Not Applicable/10: Nice purple table, though.
SMEAR #3: It’s all smear!
I can’t even tell who this is anymore; Is this supposed to be Sailor Moon? Bart Simpson? Lisa Simpson? Well, whomever it is, they’ve accomplished the highest form of smear; becoming completely unrecognizable. It’s completely amazing! They’ve become the SMEAR MASTER, the one with the smears and living embodiment the smear itself.
∞/100: Truly Majestic.
Sadly, we were given only three smears to work with; however, they were all very, very good smears. Would we blindly review smears again? Yeah, sure, let’s do it.
(And remember to subscribe to the Buttbuddz and send us more smears if you guys want to see another blind review!)
Welcome back THE BUTTBUDDZ fans, here I bring you a tale. A tale of jesters and fools living on a metal death trap in space, filled with mall cops and clowns, plasma fires and endless rounds, and some other stuff probably. All of the following are true stories from /tg/station (on the basil server specifically), this time I’ll provide useful links for a full picture. As you may have figured out by the title, pretty much every story here ends in tears, rage, and regret. But then again, isn’t that just Space Station 13?
Saying my job was “Cargo Technician” would only be half true, in reality I was actually an undercover security officer this entire round. I made sure every item I had made me unrecognizable as security, save for a taser that I kept in my belt, but that wasn’t noticeable on my sprite and could just mean I’m a well armed member of Cargonia. I still had a mindshield implant as a hint to fellow officers that I’m undercover but that still leaves some to the imagination.
I used my position as a “cargo technician” to order guns and other security equipment to bring back to the brig, and since we had an abundance of points nobody minded.
I heard over radio there was someone attempting to break into the armory from space, so I grabbed a space suit from EVA and made my way around the station. There I found him in a syndicate space suit with an energy sword around one of the science airlocks, however I don’t think he noticed I was security since he didn’t attempt to murder me or run away. Using his sense of security to my imagine, I grabbed my stun baton and hovered towards him. He managed to get one hit on me before I stunned him, at which point it was over; I grabbed his energy sword and sliced him to death with it. I brought his body back to security and donated the e-sword to the HoS. A fine job, if I do say so myself!
Later in the round, I was bringing a crate to the brig when a second traitor broke in with a double energy sword and murdered the lawyer right in front of me! Since double energy swords block both energy projectiles and most melee weapons, I realized what I needed to do to defeat him. When he ran up to me I took out my flash and pointed that shit right in his eyes, causing him to become stunned which gave me the perfect opportunity to once again take a traitor’s energy sword and murder them with it. This time I decided to keep the energy sword as a nice little prize, after all I had just defeated two traitors in glorious battle, it’s only fair I get something out of it.
Near the end of the round, just a minute before the emergency shuttle docked I was in cargo when suddenly I get shot by a taser and detained by an officer who doesn’t realize I’m undercover. Now if I made any mistake in the round it was definitely here, you see instead of flat out telling him I was in fact a security officer I was hoping either he would figure it out himself or someone would remind him, however I did not, so he ended up stealing my hard earned loot right from my satchel.
As a bit of a consolation, the HoS did promise to give me a “robust security” medal for defeating two traitors, however the emergency shuttle docked and I completely lost track of the HoS. There was one problem though; earlier in the round, the captain ordered the “Disco Inferno” shuttle, which as the name implies, has a disco in it. Also as the name implies, it’s made of plasma floors and plasma walls which burst into flames extremely easily, all it takes is one asshat with a welder and suddenly everything is on fire. That is exactly what happened, some joker ended up setting the shuttle on fire which killed almost everyone in the shuttle, myself included.
In the end I never got my double e-sword back or my medal, so I suppose if there’s a moral to this story it would be never take things to extremes, and that includes LARPing as a cargo tech.
Sometimes in Space Station 13 the best moments are not the most glorious victories, but the most laughable failures. This story is about one of the latter.
I started as the captain, and did standard captain things like changing the station’s name and being little more than an assistant with all access. There was actually a wizard that round but the wizard was unremarkable and terrible as he caused very little chaos and got butt slammed about 10 minutes into the round. He met his end as a group of security and armed crew cornered him, at which point I ran in with my sabre, sliced his head off and promptly made an announcement taking credit for the kill. Truly, I am a great marksmanship of the space station.
As the captain I like rewarding the crew for doing their jobs, so I decided to ask the cook for a super bite burger, which is a very, very large burger that requires many ingredients and takes a while to make. In exchange for making the burger I’d give him my captain’s flask. A minute or two later and I got a message from the cook that my burger was ready so I headed over to get my lunch.
The cook set it down on a table, I walked over, picked up the burger and suddenly I’m a ghost. Wait what the fuck? As it turns out the cook was a traitor and used a holoparasite to booby trap the burger so when I picked it up I exploded, causing my limbs to go flying everywhere and die instantly.
Now I’ve never died to a holoparasite (mostly because I never see any holoparasites in the first place) before so when this happened I was laughing my ass off, but I was still very confused why I just exploded upon picking up the burger. Turns out holoparasites can attach explosives to items, blowing up the poor sucker who takes the bait, and believe me I took the bait hook line and sinker! After that, the cook tried inviting the HoS over for a burger as well, but the HoS was more busy trying to find out what happened to the captain who suddenly stopped talking over comms a couple minutes ago.
The station went to shit pretty soon after that as some guy went full Cuban Pete mode and bombed half the station while a changeling went on a rampage with an arm blade. Needless to say the emergency shuttle was called as soon as it could’ve been.
Normally at round start I queue for security roles, however security can never become antagonists. Luckily the game will still select you for a potential antag role outside of security, and pretty much every time this happens I end up being the Head of Personnel. Fun!
Head of Personnel is by far the easiest traitor job since you’re basically just a slightly more suspicious captain. You have access to everywhere on the station, plus all the guns and trust you could ever hope for. You can actually just kill people in the middle of the hall and claim they tried to steal your ID if anyone says anything, of course you can’t go on a murderous rampage without anyone noticing but it’s great if you want to get rid of that annoying ass clown that just slipped you on a banana peel without any consequences.
Now for the round itself, as with all HoP traitor rounds, I just start out by giving all access out like copies of Crusader Kings 2 since if half the station has all access, security’s just going to be in complete fucking chaos as everyone’s work space gets invaded by assistants and clowns.
My objectives didn’t really matter, all I needed to do was steal the reflector vest and stay alive on the shuttle, and stealing ANYTHING as the HoP is a cakewalk since you have all access and nobody cares where the HoP goes or what he takes, so the first objective was finished within the first five minutes. Now it was time to be a dastardly, no good villainous traitor.
My first villainous act was to get rid of all lizard people on the station, my first target being the chef who I dragged to be sent off to the gulag, unfortunately some asshole brought him back from the gulag so I had to come up with another idea. A brilliant idea it was, since lizards are uncivilized savages anyways I thought “why not put him in a zoo?”, and so I shoved him in the xenobiology containment pen for safe keeping. However there was a scientist in the room who did not approve of my zoo, calling it inhumane or some shit, I didn’t really get why but he was being a giant douche and was trying to free the lizard from my zoo so I stunned him and left him in the enclosure alongside his lizard friend. Genius!
Now I wasn’t going to just leave them in there to rot because that would be boring, instead I beamed in a single hostile slime. Shouldn’t be too bad right? Unfortunately the two captives were unable to work together to overcome my challenge and the lizard ended up being absorbed to death by the slime, just before the scientist could kill it.
For the next challenge I gave the scientist a gold slime extract and a plasma syringe, that way he could summon a random hostile NPC to fight. Unfortunately he decided to be a shitstain and used water on the extract, which just summoned a harmless cat. Can’t really work with that, and we were all out of plasma so I went to go get more from cargo so I could summon some hostile mobs myself. When I got back, however, some guy freed the scientist from the zoo which kind of took a shit all over my plans. At this point the zoo had actually outlived its usefulness so I left to create mischief elsewhere, but little did I know the scientist was bitter about the whole situation and was plotting my downfall. What a brute!
I went to the medbay next since genetics had some superpowers for me to use. I saw the HoS and asked if I could have a spare energy gun, but before the HoS could give it to me a fellow traitor came in and stunned both of us. He started murdering the HoS and quickly moved onto me, indeed this was almost the end, but I let him know that I too was a traitor and was willing to share my unspent telecrystals (i hadn’t bought any traitor items). Just like that he ceased his assault and let me go, and since I still have some honor I allowed him to buy a traitor crate with my telecrystals.
Now getting slashed with an energy sword multiple times really does hurt so I tried to find some medical supplies to heal myself with, but before I could get to them I saw what the scientist had done to get revenge on me. Using the gold slimes and a light pink slime (light pink slimes allow dead players to spawn as whatever mob the extract is used on), he created a hostile, sentient pine tree and ordered it to find and kill me. It caught me at the worst possible time since I was wounded, slowed, and had no lethal weaponry.
I tried running into the halls to seek aid but the killer pine tree caught up to me and hit me into critical condition, at which point a cyborg made a noble attempt to save me, but the pine tree followed it and prevented it from getting me medical attention in the medbay. Since the cyborg had no way of healing me and I was bleeding from getting stabbed repeatedly by a pine tree, I did actually just die. There wasn’t enough time to clone me either since the emergency shuttle was about to dock so I had to be left for dead, thus preventing me from completing my “escape on the shuttle alive” objective.
Of all the ways for me to be killed that round, getting stabbed to death by a living pine tree was probably the most unexpected. But uh, at least I got that reflector vest, right? Yeah I’m not impressed either.
Immediately at the start of this round, the clockwork cult declared war. Since I was a security officer, there would be no rest for me. Now I’ve never seen a clockwork cult declare war before so I didn’t know what the fuck would be up, other than a confirmation of cultists and apparently they’d be stronger somehow.
These cultists weren’t afraid to fuck shit up, as within only five minutes I saw armored cultists running around with full armor and spears, murdering or converting anything and everything in their path. I think I killed one or two cultists at some points, but the cultists were simply too strong. Before I knew it, all of security was dead and many crew members were converted, indeed I was in the bone zone.
The emergency shuttle did arrive, and since it was the bar shuttle I knew what must be done.
As fast as they could crank out Irish car bombs and screwdrivers, I was chugging them down, causing my blood-alcohol levels to go through the roof. Some guy tried shooting me but when I shot back we had a nice truce where I could keep chugging booze and he could keep doing whatever the fuck.
Now getting shot did hurt so I stumbled up to the medbay to get some heals, but just as I got there I got ambushed by a spear-wielding cultist and I was finally put out of my drunken misery. Luckily a doctor came to me with a defibrillator and revived my sorry drunken ass, though apparently I was so shitfaced that I was still drunk even after dying.
Soon after the clockwork ark was activated, and portals to it were spawning all over the station. I went in but I knew very well we had no chance of success, it was just me and a couple other assholes who knew the situation as well as I did. Luckily the admins made a custom bar area in the clockwork ark area as well, so I still had a chance to have a couple more shots before Ratvar was summoned.
Unfortunately the admin running the bar was just offering soda and kids meal snacks which pissed me off because if I ended the round sober I was going to be extremely upset, especially after everything I had poured down my throat. I yelled at him to get me some actual booze, to which he responded by going in his storage room for a minute. When he came back he gave me a drink labeled “GUARANTEED TO GET YOU 500% SHITFACED”, which sounded real fine at the moment.
When I drank it however, my screen started shaking the fuck out, going in all different kinds of directions, changing angles rapidly, zooming in and out, eventually it got so crazy my screen just went black. I don’t know what the fuck he put in there, but my god it lived up to the name and then some. To nobody’s surprise, the few non-cultist crew members (not counting me as I was pretty much incapacitated) were unable to prevent Ratvar from being summoned.
what shall we do with the drunken spaceman early in the morning…
The Head of Security, The Chemist, and The Jihadist Cyborg
I’m not a huge fan of low population rounds (40-60 is my ideal player range) but when it’s 4:00 AM sometimes you have to settle for 33 players. I started this round as the Head of Security and while normally that would entail ordering security round, nobody was security except me. So I grabbed my trusty secway and set forth to put a stop to any and all SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY, unfortunately there was none for a while so I spent the first 10 or so minutes drunk driving in my very cool secway.
Finally I caught some SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY when I was rolling around medbay, suddenly the chemist bursts out of his area and asks for help, claiming that the roboticist was attacking him and violating his workplace. This seemed easy enough to deal with, I’d just tell the roboticist to piss off and if he didn’t I’d flash him and drag him off somewhere, however while I was telling the roboticist to shoo the chemist shot him a syringe of… something, I’m not exactly sure what it was, maybe some kind of traitor-exclusive toxins, either way it was lethal, though at first I just assumed it to be chloral hydrate or morphine. He then flushed the roboticist down disposals, and seeing that the roboticist had just had a heart attack I realized he might actually just be dead, which he was when I got there.
Still I decided not to take any action against the chemist since to me, he was just doing what he needed to get the intruder out of his area, and I kind of forgot about him when the captain arrived on the station and promptly killed himself in the hallways, allowing his body to be looted. Then I had to track down whoever got his all access ID that I realized was a rather fruitless endeavor which I quickly abandoned, whoever got it didn’t seem to do much with it though I’m still not sure what caused the captain to just suicide like that, maybe he got a bad first impression of the station or something, balls if I know.
Later on some snitch sent me a PDA message telling me the chemist had shot a guy in a plant disguise with a syringe, and at this rate the chemist was getting rather suspicious so I went to preform a raid on his office to see if I could find anything nasty. With the help of a friendly cyborg I stormed in, arrested him and brought him back to the brig to be searched, whereupon I found several traitor items, one of which being an emag. Well at this point he was thoroughly busted and we both knew it so I offered him a deal; I would use the emag on an arcade (this causes whoever plays the arcade to explode if they lose or forfeit of the arcade game) and if he won I’d let him go, keeping all his traitor/chemist equipment of course.
I was just about to go through with the deal, changing him into an orange prison jumpsuit when the cyborg from earlier came in, I assumed to see what I was doing, but it turns out it was sent by someone (the ai? a traitor roboticist? I never figured out) to ruin my day, and so it did, suicide bombing right in the middle of both of us, killing everyone involved.
Luckily this story has something of a happy ending, since my body was recovered and cloned near the end of the round, which gave me just enough time to board the shuttle to have an epic duel with a space ninja, win said duel, claim the ninja’s sword as my prize, and then caught myself on fire with a “BURN patch” which normally would heal my burns, but some chucklehead took the literal route and made it just catch people on fire. Either way I extinguished the fire and made it to the end of the round.
A while after the round I realized the chemist was a fellow man of the Youtube sphere and actually has a video of this very round uploaded, so if you’d like to see this round from the chemist’s point of view, the video is right here.
It’s a bit amazing how often I end up getting picked as a wizard considering the round type isn’t terribly common and only one person gets picked as the wizard, but when I am a wizard I try and come up with a fun gimmick instead of just picking magic missile, firebolt, blink, the like, and going on a normal magical murderbone. Oh and before I go on here are the spells I picked:
Staff of Change – A staff with infinite charges that changes whatever it hits into a random mob, this can be anything from cyborgs, cows, slimes, etc.
Mind Swap – Swaps your body with whoever you’re right next to, knocking both of you out for a short period.
Ethereal Jaunt – Makes you disappear and able to go through anything for a few seconds, at which point you reappear. Requires a robe to use.
Firebolt – Shoots a firebolt. The firebolt explodes in flames.
Not caring about my objectives (kill the chemist and escape on the shuttle alive), the gimmick for this round I decided was that I was going to get a staff of change and mind swap, change someone into a drone, then mindswap them and take the staff of change. My reasoning here is that drones have a small hitbox, are very fast, and have all access, combine this with the deadly staff of change and nothing will prevent my spread of chaos across the station!
It however did not go like this, instead I teleported random places, polymorphing a good few crew members until I had to match wits with a pesky soap-dragging cyborg, who ran over me with the soap causing me to slip. Unfortunately a securitron was there at the moment and handcuffed me with my ethereal jaunt still on cooldown, at which point the cyborg started dragging me out into space. I was a little too slow on my mind swap which allowed the cyborg to drag me out into space. The bright side is that when I mind swapped, my old body was dying from being exposed to the cold and unforgiving nature of space, which lead to the cyborg being dead by the time I regained my consciouness.
I did manage to make my way to the station where I mind swapped into the CMO in an attempt to access EVA, where I’d get a space suit and a jetpack to retrieve my staff of change, but then I realized “wait shit the cmo doesn’t get eva access”, and then I also realized “shit ethereal jaunt requires the use of a magical robe”, so at this point my tactic just changed to running around, fireballing people, and mind swapping unsuspecting crew members.
Once I was done causing chaos (albeit without my staff of change which I dearly missed) I figured “hey the guy I turned into a xenomorph earlier is probably dead by now, I’ll just get on the shuttle, avoid trouble, and hopefully my objectives will be complete”, unfortunately my target was alive and well apparently, and so my dastardly plot was foiled once again.
These are all the tales I have for you today, but worry not, I shall be back one day with more TALES FROM SPACE STATION 13. In fact they might not even be in the form of an article, but an edited video! Now isn’t that exciting?
Remember to subscribe to The Buttbuddz, drink Pepsi, and be on the lookout for new high quality buttbuddz.com articles.
Board Game Online, the board game that is online, is a time-honored tradition within the Buttbuddz; it’s a sample of many game nights and the catalyst of many of our civil wars. Nowadays, there’s enough rounds of Board Game Online being played that it could arguably be considered a competitive sport around here. (Or perhaps more specifically, a competitive e-sport!)
With every rematch after rematch (after, of course, another rematch), the competitive BGO scene blossoms more and more as a result. As the competition grows more heated, players are figuring out ways to make their rounds more fair, fun, and free from any bullshittery. (E.g. The Hungriest Games.) These sweaty tryhards will do whatever they can to be the victor of Board Game Online!
As the competitive scene grows and the (re)matches grow more intense, the unofficially-official competitive BGO community is already proposing some ground rules for future rounds of Board Game Online. They are as follows:
#1: All Items
Yes, all items. Every single item in the game. Even the sucky ones.
Normally in competitive gaming, items usually get banned; however, they’re a crucial part of the Board Game Online experience. Why would anyone want to ban them if they’re so pivotal to the game-play? After all, items are one of the hugest strategical elements in BGO!
#2: Assassins Only
“Sprint, kill, and sprint some more!” —Specialized Adventuring! Description
A class dedicated to sprinting, killing, and speed boosts gained by killing is the only true way to play competitive Board Game Online; After all, you’re trying to get to the finish line, right? By having everyone play as assassins, not only are you giving everyone a good class to play as, you’re also making everything more fair, as everyone has the same abilities.
Now, you might be asking, “dual-typings are allowed right?” Nah. It’s just assassins; otherwise we’d have cheaters such as assassin-necromancers or assassin-saboteurs running around, and that would completely defeat the point of banning all classes but assassin. (That, and you can’t dual-type the same class; sadly, that means no “The Ultimate Assassin”/assassin-assassins.)
#3: Final Destination
Had the competitive BGO scene come up with seven more rules, we might have a perfectly good top ten on our hands! (Let’s be real, though; they’re eventually gonna come up with seven more anyways… All we have to do is wait.)
As for the future of Buttbuddz BGO matches, nobody really knows for certain how things will turn out in the long run; Board Game Online is still being updated to this day. Will there be sweatier tryhards? Will there be a specific game-mode designated for competitive play? Will there be diss tracks written by the competitive community? …We just don’t know!
However, speculation has already started to arise among the players, as people are making educated guesses about the future of competitive BGO. In fact, let’s read one of them!
The year is 20XX. Everyone plays Assassin at levels of perfection comparable to BGO being somehow set on auto-pilot. Because of this, the winner of a match depends solely on joining priority, which means if you made the game, you automatically win. The Board Game Online metagame has evolved to ridiculous levels due to it being the only remaining factor to decide matches.
Doesn’t the future look great? In the meantime though, competitive Board Game Online is only just starting to begin; things might not turn out exactly like the prediction says, but we, the staff of Butt With A Blog promises to keep up with competitive BGO news updates as they come out!
Subscribe to the Buttbuddz for more rounds of Board Game Online.
What’s up, GAMERS!? Today, we’re gonna review a video game, and that video game is Splasher!
Splasher is a side-scrolling action platformer and hydraulics simulator made by the similarly-named-to-the-game studio Splashteam. Also, this game was created by some of the people behind Rayman Origins, so you’re likely already familiar with Splashteam, although you just weren’t aware of it!
The story of Splasher takes place at Inkorp, a corporation that lives up to its name by making ink/paint/art liquids. At beginning of opening cut-scene, the player is treated to a tour of the factory, from its output of potato-based ink to the backroom containing Inkorp’s huge amount of custodians. (Which are referred to as “Splashers” within the game’s sales page descriptions.)
However, things are not what they seem at the workplace, as one custodian (and main character of the game), “Young Hero” discovers that Inkorp has been performing experiments on its employees.
“Young Hero” and the player even get to witness one of these experiments, in which one of the Splashers ends up… Well…
Horrified by what he just witnessed, our hero goes off to save any and all remaining coworkers, who are scattered across many of the game’s levels. Armed with a paint cannon, water, and two different kinds of ink, he is also in pursuit of Inkorp’s boss -the brute responsible for the experiments mentioned earlier- to make sure that his crime does not pay.
Of course, one of the reasons we play video games is for the gameplay, and Splasher delivers; the controls are nice and floaty, yet still fairly quick, and the properties of the inks are a highlight of the game. The red ink lets the player stick to surfaces they wouldn’t normally be able to, the yellow ink lets the player bounce around and reach new heights, and the water is for pretty much everything else.
If this all sounds fun to you, that’s because it is; The inks are very fun to use, even when you don’t have them unlocked, as the design of the earlier levels take advantage of its properties in a way that is still exciting and fun to play with. (And makes you all the more excited when you actually get them!)
Aside from it’s main “play through the game normally” mode, the game also has a bunch of speedrunning options, so if you’re into speedruns, time-attacks and stuff like that, these modes will probably something you’ll enjoy.
To put it simply, Splasher is an excellent video game worth plenty of Pepsi cans. If Splashteam ever needs to put in a fourth liquid, perhaps they should consider adding Pepsi?
Simple visuals that look nice, yet still detailed enough to do Inkorp and its employees justice visually.
The ink mechanics are an absolute blast to use!
Game’s levels are challenging, yet still very fun.
I’m not really sure if this can be considered much of a “coke”, but on lower-end gaming setups Splasher‘s a bit slower and floatier. While it’s still very, very, very playable on them, I wouldn’t recommend speedrunning it on a toaster. (Especially if you’re trying to get the world record!)
Splasher‘s available for not only the PC, but the PS4 and Nintendo Switch, and you likely own at least one of those so you have no excuse not to get this game. Have fun gaming, gamers!
Over the two years the Buttbuddz have existed, many YouTube videos have been made, and many subscribers have been gained. To celebrate our channel’s 2nd Anniversary, we’ll be holding the first ever BUDDZCon!
Yes, you read that correctly; BUDDZCon is our very own YouTube convention (located in Buttsburgh) that’s exclusively about the Buttbuddz, the best channel on the entire site. It will run from March 4th through March 4th (which was picked because it’s the release date of the hit video game Pepsiman), and it’s one party you will not want to miss!
To start off your BUDDZCon experience, everyone will have to attend the opening ceremony, in which Mr. Buttbuddz goes over the growth of our channel, and congratulates everyone for helping us get as far as we have. After all, without you -the subscribers and content-creators alike- The Buttbuddz would not be here today!
After the ceremony, you’re free to explore the convention center, and all of the fun events we have set up. Like panels? We’ve got plenty of them! Featured panels you’ll be looking forward to include (but aren’t limited to):
How To Make A Buttbuddz Top Ten
In this panel, you’ll get to witness the live creation of a Top Ten video, a staple of the Buttbuddz channel. One lucky audience member will have their suggestion for the Top Ten come to life, so be sure to bring in your best ideas!
Mr. Blobby’s Philosophy of Life
His philosophy of life will steer us through; There’s nothing in the world he cannot do, so that’s why Mr. Blobby is hosting his own panel; He knows he’ll show the world a thing or two!
The philosophical musings of John Blyth Barrymore are performed live for the first time, as he spends an hour discussing the significance of the Pipe Strip, a classic work of art among many Buttbuddz fans. (We promise, we won’t get a copyright claim for having him and the soundtrack of “Kundan” here.)
Anime Containment Panel
It was really hard to plan for BUDDZCon this year, and some of that was because the staff got into a heated argument over whether anime should be banned or not; This is the solution to that problem. …Honestly, we’re not sure what to actually do with this panel; you guys can discuss Moomin or something in it, we guess.
Another fun, popular BUDDZCon activity is gaming, and naturally -like any gaming convention- we’ve got some video games set up for everyone to enjoy! Catch our gaming events to have lots of fun, and maybe even help make a Buttbuddz “Let’s Play” or two!
1:00 to 1:30 PM: let’s play a video game. 2:00 to 3:00 PM: Tower Unite Mini-Golf Tournament. 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM: Break Time. (Go take a nap, watch some shows, do whatever. Just don’t play any games.) 7:00 to 7:55 PM: wacky_races_v2 Race-Off. (All participants will randomly to teams RED/”Subscribe” and BLU/”Pepsi”) 8:00 PM to The Very End of BUDDZCon: Live “Let’s Play” Recording: Pepsiman. (Which will eventually be posted on the Buttbuddz channel.)
Aside from panels and gaming, we’re also using the theater for Donkey Kong Country marathons and showing off the best of the Buttbuddz videos from the past two years, so you can check that out if you want.
Of course, all of these fun activities sound great, but there’s still one important question you’re about ready to ask us: How do I get into BUDDZCon anyways?
Well, aspiring guests, that’s why we have all sorts of tickets for all kinds of subscribers! From our budget “viewer” tickets, to our high-end “creator” type, there’s a ticket for anyone’s needs. (We also accept ticket payment in Buttcoin.)
“Hey Buttbuddz, what’s that Meet-and Greet Lottery you guys just mentioned?” Yeah, we’ll let you guys know about that, so don’t you worry about that.
Anyways, we hope that everybody attends BUDDZCon this year, and celebrates the 2nd Anniversay of the Buttbuddz with us! And remember to like, comment, and subscribe when you get there!