Is Kirby Really Evil in Squeak Squad? The Manga Explains All!

Remember Game Review #1: Kirby: Squeak Squad, one of our first ever articles on the blog? Of course you don’t; The quality of articles didn’t get to “memorable” levels until about two days later. (So memorably, in fact, that we can still feel the waves of the Pretty Cure Content Flood of Summer 2017 to this day; At this point, we might as well give Cure Marine her own pillar/merge it with the Sailor Moon one…)

So what separates that simple, humble review of a Kirby game from our many great articles after it? Well, what if we told you it was an awkward, early article that suffered from being rushed? Sure, the game-play part of the review turned out okay, but the critical research failures within the review were about the game’s LORE.

Yeah, that’s right; Kirby: Squeak Squad‘s lore is a lot deeper than it looks, and -like the original article mentions- is not very noticeable in the game, for you see… Everything’s actually in Squeak Squad‘s manga adaptation!

Yes, it’s real, and some of it’s even been scanned/translated by fans before. (Keyword here being “some.” The sites and their manga sections have been inactive for years, so I wouldn’t expect more to pop up anytime soon…)

First off, the manga goes over time and time again that Kirby is not evil. For example, -rather than being up everyone over cake- here’s Kirby spreading the wealth of Maxim Tomatoes and Invincible Candies with Dreamland’s residents, making every man a king comparable to the likes of Dedede in the process.

Speaking of King Dedede, Kirby also offers the great king parts of the plot’s strawberry shortcake if he helps look for it; Kirby sure is a straight up honest guy!

For a game commonly nicknamed “Kirby’s Fucking Pissed”, the manga is somehow a lot calmer; Even the “treasure chest that contains the cake/villain” part of the plot is more sugary-sweet than what one would’ve seen in the game!

[Pictured: What Kirby keeps assuming what happens to the cake every time anyone takes it.]
Of course, we know what you’re really here for; RATS. Don’t worry, they make plenty of appearances throughout the manga adaptation of the game they star in.

Even Kirby himself liked Squeak Squad’s very own rat clan enough to try and join them at one point in the manga!

He already had the Rats Mix-tape; Joining the Rat Clan was only the next logical step!

There still might not be any Escargoon in the game’s manga, but to say that Kirby: Squeak Squad doesn’t have a lot of lore for a Kirby title is simply a mistake; Squeak Squad has as much of a story as any other title, you just have to know where to look for it!

This article was brought to you by Fivebuddz: Buttbuddz-quality freelancing for only $5 of the Buttbuddz budget! (Or, alternatively, over 500 jelly beans.)

Why Cboyardee is the Most Important Man on the Internet

Cboyardee, also known as Chef Boyardee. A name not often heard today, but back in the day he was known as memelord 1#. In fact, the modern internet has a lot to owe to this man, shrek memes, MS Paint videos and great video games. Let’s take a closer look.

Cboyardees most important work.

First, let’s take a look at Cboyardees most popular, but not most influencal work, Dilbert 2. It’s MS-Paint aesthetics are known across the world for it’s quality and artsyness, and the video remains popular despite Cboyardees original channel being deleted by YouBrute. Despite being a popular video, it hasn’t influenced the world as much as it’s sequel, Dilbert 3.

Is Dilbert 3 more important than Dilbert 2?!?

You see, Dilbert 3 introduced the world to robocop.mp3, a remix of the theme song for Robocop for the commodore 64 or something. This great remix would rather become the theme song for clowns in Space Station 13.

Yeah that’s right, without Cboyardee we wouldn’t have this most excellent tune.

And while you see, the Dilbert videos are popular and well known, Cboyardee has done a lot more for the internet, too much for one article, so I am going to mention two more groundbreaking achievements of his.

Cboyardee invented Shrek memes. Yeah that’s right, long before “Shrek is love, Shrek is life”,  Cboyardee created the classic “Shrek is NOT Drek” video, and also a daily series of Shrek themed jokes and even a let’s play of Shrek on the GBA. So if you enjoy Shrek related memes, remember to thank Cboyardee.

But now my good friends, we will look at Cboyardee‘s greatest achivement. A complete, classic vidcon enjoyed by childs all over the world. I am of course talking about the everylasting classic of  vidcon, it is BARKLEY SHUT UP AND JAM GAIDEN!

Yeah that’s right, Cboyardee was one of the devs and also the composer of this classic vidcon. If that doesn’t make you an important man on the internet, then I don’t know what will. And despite the fact his YouTube was purged long ago, you can still find Cboyardee hidden on the internet, working on Barkley 2 which will come out in the year 20XX, and you’re very exited for it.

But now I have to go, I have some b-ballin’ to do. I am very grateful to live in a world where b-ball isn’t outlawed, so byebye.

Crash Buttrospective – Crash Bandicoot 2

Hello, it’s me Mr. Buttbuddz and I think it’s time for another excitapating episode of our first buttbuddz retrospective. Today we will look at the second game in the Crash Bandidash series, which is Crash’em Bash’em 2: Vengance: Ressurection, also known as Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back in Europe.

Press start to begin

Like with the first game I’ve played Crash 2 at least a couple of times, but for this retrospective I’ll only be replaying the first world to jog the memory strains. A secret tip is that if you do not skip the first cutscene, you get to play a short secret stage before you enter the first world.

You can tell this is a secret stage because Coco is there.

In Dash Dingo you have to save the world by getting batteries for Cocoa’s  pink late 90s laptop, because chargers are outlawed in this postapocalypse. As you start touching you are controller, you will realize what a treat you are in for, because Krash 2 controlls a hell’uva lot better than the first game. The game looks better, has more detail, better level design. The music is a lot more catchy and complex too than the more ambient music of the first game.

very scary

So yeah Crash 2 is slightly more fun than crash 1 which was very fun so this is fun too. See you next time when we will play Neo Turf Masters ’96, the last game in the Crash Bandfantasy XIII: Crash Returns.

He might say that you can run, but you’ll just run straight into that hole!

Crash Buttrospective – Crash Bandicoot 1

Hello, and welcome to this first BUTTBUDDZ (trademark) retrospective. We will look at one of my favorite games (me, as in Nobaddy), Crash Bandicoot. Through this retrospective I’ll write a bit about all the crash games that matter, which is 1-3, CTR and maybe Wrath of Cortex (which is shit) and Twinsanity (which is at least 30 times less shit than WoC, but not as good as the Naughty Dog games)

In this first written piece I will look at the first game. I’ve replayed the first world of Crash Bandicoot to jog my memory, but I’ve played through this game many times as a child, and as a teenager and at least once as an adult.

It’s Crash!

Crash Bandicoot is a 3D platformer released in 1996 in which you play as Crash Bandicoot, who must stop the evil Dr. Neo Cortex because he’s a mean villain.

The game has an intro cutscene which isn’t very important, so we will start with the first level. You start out on a beach and then you go into the jungle where you will find many exciting challenges. One of the most apparent strengths of Crash Bandicoot is the beautiful visuals. One of the best found in a 3D playstation game, the game portrays lush jungles, mystic ruins and disturbing factory locales with ease, and together with is sequels are easily some of the best looking video games of the 90s. The art holds up today, and makes the games so much enjoyable as you’re always excited for what the next level is going to look like. Might I say the game is eye candy?

The gameplay in Crash Bandicoot is alright. You can jump and you can run and do a spin attack and not much more. The level design is very similar to the 2D platformers of the early 90s, but turned around into a 3D perspective. The game is a linear, tunnelvision platformer, almost kinda similar to the boost sonic games, but also half the levels are sidescrolling stages. The gameplay and level design in Crash 1 isn’t as strong as in it’s sequels, even though the game has a much more mysterious feel to it compared to it’s streamlined sequels. One of my favorite stages in the series is the bridge level where you jump across a broken bridge. It’s mysterious, almost haunted and it has great atmosphere. I think actually Crash 1 has the best mood in the series. What adds to this almost as much as the lush graphics and simple but effective soundtrack is the secrets.

It’s as if I’m in a real jungle!

Crash 1s secrets are the most secret in the series, and are kinda arbitrary and poorly designed. You can unlock secrets by collecting colored gems, which unlocks hidden paths, but for many stages you can’t get the gems unless you’ve acquired a color gem which adds to a very confusing experience. To get a gem you have to break all the crates, but the issue is that you can’t die on a stage. This makes it very hard to get gems on the later stages, a bit too hard maybe and unfair, since you can’t collect the gems in the earlier stages because they have crates on hidden paths that only unlock after you get a colored gem from a later stage! But when you do this, you do get some exciting secrets. A great childhood memory of mine is when I finally got a colored gem and went back to a previous stage. Suddenly there was a gem platform which lead me to an exciting, hidden path. Crash 2 and 3 have secrets too, which are better designed to boot but I will never forget the memory of finding that secret in crash 1.

The boulder chase is one of the most iconic parts of the game

Also the game controls much worse than the later games, there’s no analogue control and the spin attack has this weird thing where you kinda slide forwards while you use it which can cause you to die sometimes if you spin near a hole just right.

All in all Crash Bandicoot is a great game which is very fun, and while it’s sequels improve on it, it’s still a great game on it’s own and worth playing.