Video Games – Butt with a Blog

The GAMEBUDDZ: Our amazing new gaming console!

December 19, 2018December 19, 2018ComicaLeave a comment

Everyone has a dream. Here at the Buttbuddz, our dream is to make a successful and revolutionary game console. We’d like to introduce everyone to our very own gaming device…

The Buttbuddz GAMEBUDDZ!

Available in black, Subscribe-Button, Pepsi Blue, Garfield Orange, and Golden Banana.

So, what exactly does the GameBuddz play? Just about every game imaginable! The GameBuddz comes pre-loaded with over 3,000 games, to say nothing of the millions of other games compatible with it!

With the GameBuddz, you’ll never need another console again because of how just versatile our console is! (As it supports Atari/Amiga/CDi/Colecovision/Intellivision/Sega /NeoGeo/TurboGrafix-16/Odyssey/3DO/Commodore/Nintendo/And everything in between!)

The Gamebuddz comes with an impressive 16 GB Memory, a multi-language and multi-functional high-quality speaker, as well a built-in audio-and-visual recorder function so you can easily make a let’s play straight from the Gamebuddz itself. (And it can even connect directly to YouTube so you can upload your gaming experiences straight to your subscribers!)

Here’s footage of the Gamebuddz in action; just look at how well it plays PLATYPUS DUCK GAME. The Gamebuddz runs video games so incredibly well, it puts the most high-end gaming computers available to shame!

Of course, we’re not stopping at handhelds. If you’re gonna make consoles, you’ve gotta play with the big boys; that means you also have to make a home-held console, because home is one of the best places to play video games! Version 2 of our video game console will be releasing very soon; it’s much better than the first version, as we’re partnering with Pepsi to make it.

…Introducing, the GAMEBUDDZ PRO-PSI!

The Gamebuddz Pro-Psi is the best home console one could ever dream of owning; with it’s matt black ~~(not to be confused with “matte black”)~~ tunnel empty shell, mirror paint, aircraft-grade plastic frames, and our patented MANY CRYSTAL PEPSI TECHNOLOGY, there’s no reason to choose the Pro-Psi over it’s competition!

Xbox One? The Pro-Psi will make sure it’s an Xbox None. Nintendo Switch? After you get a Pro-Psi, you’ll be tossing it in a ditch. PS4? After buying the Pro-Psi you’ll just buy four more! Even the PC isn’t safe, as the Pro-Psi will make your games run and play as clearly as the Pep Sea itself! (And by extension, making it the most Fish-approved console on the entire market, too!)

To the first person that not only subscribed to us, but also purchased our consoles you just brought tears to our eyes. Tears of joy!

Thank you so much for your support we promise to continue our tech company and evolve it in the gaming world. After all, we’re just a couple of butts with a dream!

The Buttcade – Splasher

April 5, 2018July 2, 2018ComicaLeave a comment

What’s up, GAMERS!? Today, we’re gonna review a video game, and that video game is Splasher!

I’m not even sure if it was necessary to bold the title of the game, because Splasher’s title art is already doing a good job of being, well, **bold.**

Splasher is a side-scrolling action platformer and hydraulics simulator made by the similarly-named-to-the-game studio Splashteam. Also, this game was created by some of the people behind Rayman Origins, so you’re likely already familiar with Splashteam, although you just weren’t aware of it!

The story of Splasher takes place at Inkorp, a corporation that lives up to its name by making ink/paint/art liquids. At beginning of opening cut-scene, the player is treated to a tour of the factory, from its output of potato-based ink to the backroom containing Inkorp’s huge amount of custodians. (Which are referred to as “Splashers” within the game’s sales page descriptions.)

However, things are not what they seem at the workplace, as one custodian (and main character of the game), “Young Hero” discovers that Inkorp has been performing experiments on its employees.

“Young Hero” and the player even get to witness one of these experiments, in which one of the Splashers ends up… Well…

*The only thing that would make this picture any more of an accurate description of Splasher’s opening cutscene would be the sole addition of a gas mask.*

Horrified by what he just witnessed, our hero goes off to save any and all remaining coworkers, who are scattered across many of the game’s levels. Armed with a paint cannon, water, and two different kinds of ink, he is also in pursuit of Inkorp’s boss -the brute responsible for the experiments mentioned earlier- to make sure that his crime does not pay.

Of course, one of the reasons we play video games is for the gameplay, and Splasher delivers; the controls are nice and floaty, yet still fairly quick, and the properties of the inks are a highlight of the game. The red ink lets the player stick to surfaces they wouldn’t normally be able to, the yellow ink lets the player bounce around and reach new heights, and the water is for pretty much everything else.

If this all sounds fun to you, that’s because it is; The inks are very fun to use, even when you don’t have them unlocked, as the design of the earlier levels take advantage of its properties in a way that is still exciting and fun to play with. (And makes you all the more excited when you actually get them!)

*Both types of ink also come with the Day 1 Collector’s Edition.*

Aside from it’s main “play through the game normally” mode, the game also has a bunch of speedrunning options, so if you’re into speedruns, time-attacks and stuff like that, these modes will probably something you’ll enjoy.

To put it simply, Splasher is an excellent video game worth plenty of Pepsi cans. ~~If Splashteam ever needs to put in a fourth liquid, perhaps they should consider adding Pepsi?~~

SCORE:

[PEPSIS ]

Simple visuals that look nice, yet still detailed enough to do Inkorp and its employees justice visually.
The ink mechanics are an absolute blast to use!
Game’s levels are challenging, yet still very fun.

[COKES ]

I’m not really sure if this can be considered much of a “coke”, but on lower-end gaming setups Splasher‘s a bit slower and floatier. While it’s still very, very, very playable on them, I wouldn’t recommend speedrunning it on a toaster. (Especially if you’re trying to get the world record!)

Splasher‘s available for not only the PC, but the PS4 and Nintendo Switch, and you likely own at least one of those so you have no excuse not to get this game. Have fun gaming, gamers!

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Why Rise of the Tomb Raider Is a Trash Game for Garbagemen – a BUTTBUDDZ review

October 9, 2017October 10, 2017Nobaddy2 Comments

Hey buttbuddz fans today we are going to take a quick look at a video game, and boy is it a stinker. Yeah that’s right, we’re talking about Rise of the Tomb Raider.

When you think about great video games, you realize there are many things which can make for a great video game. Depth, challenge, charm, good story, level design, satsifying mechanics, sound design. We live in a world where games such as Age of Empires 2 and Doom are played for decades thanks to their great design and mechanics, and games like Half Life and Final Fantasy 6 are loved for their timeless stories, creativity and all that stuff.

*This part of the game was actually kinda fun, with you exploring a dungeon with some easy puzzles, some ACTUAL platforming. Too bad the game goes to shit after it.*

However, today we are talking about Rise of the Tomb Raider. This game has a terrible story line which rips of Indiana Jones and 30s adventure movies, but changed the fun adventure and enjoyable characters to some trashy drama. The storyline is bad. The characters are cardboard, and we are presented to ancient tropes without any self awareness or interesting twists. This makes for an objectively boring storyline, and it doens’t help that the game tries to make you symphatize with Laura Croft by torturing her at every step. She is always being mauled by bears, hunted down by psychopaths and falling of cliffs. She probably can’t go to the store to buy bread and milk without stepping in a bear trap and falling off a cliff. In fact, bad things happen to her so much that I’m pretty sure the entire development team gets off to this, and that’s quite nasty I think.

Of course, a video game is about playing a fun game, and a good story is irrelevant as long as we got enjoyable gameplay mechanics, good level design and fun things to do. I am happy to report that Rise of the Tomb Raider doesn’t have any of this. The game might try to trick you into believing that theres a lot of options and paths to take, but the game is linear with a few side paths here and there which reward you with nonsensical bullshit. There is also uncharted-style climbing, which is like watching a lets play of Super Mario 64. You hold down W or something and spam space and there you go you are watching Laura Croft slowly climbing up a wall. This isn’t fun. The game is also a cover based third person shooter. I don’t think I need to say more here, because by definition cover based third person shooters aren’t fun. Linear games can work, but this sure as hell doesn’t. The boring shooting and the boring climbing and the boring paths to walk down makes it feel like you’re on the worlds boringest rollercoaster. The game likes to think it’s survival based too, but you aren’t surviving and barely getting by when you got a bunch of guns and perfect bow and arrow skills on the linear roller coaster.

*The publishers knew the game was crap, so one of the steam store page pictures is just Ms. Crofts face. Good work.*

I don’t want to write more about this game. It’s really bad, and is a good example on what video games shouldn’t be. Video games should be fun times where you explore interesting worlds, meet interesting characters and interact with fun mechanics as the game thinks up new ways to challenge your understanding of the mechanics. Rise of the Tomb Raider is just a crappy rollercoaster designed by a bunch of people who don’t like video games. And also I gotta say, this game is exactly the same as the last Tomb Raider. The story, the gameplay. Nothing has changed. It’s bad. Every time I try to do something fun the game punishes you. Avoid this game at all costs.

TOTAL SCORE: – A pretty bad game which gets 3 coke cans for being boring and terrible. I will spare it the remaining 2 because i guess its competently made. I will also add a single Pepsi can for the good looking environments. This is a very generous score, which I think Square Enix should be happy with.

The Buttcade – Trouble Witches Origin Episode 1: Daughters of Amalgam –

August 20, 2017August 20, 2017NobaddyLeave a comment

Hello you buttbuddz fans, and welcome to a new buttbuddz review. Yeah that’s right, we are going to look at a SHMUP today, sometimes called a scrolling shooting game, or even STG if you’re either a Japanese person, a weeaboo using Japanese terms to make you seem cool to your fellow STG fans, or you simply prefer your video game genres to sound like a disease.

Today we are going to look at a video game named Trouble Witches Origin Episode 1: Daughters of Amalgam, which is a STG developed by Studio SiestA and published on Steam by Rocket-Engine Co.,LTD.

In Trouble Witches to play as a Magical Girl who must shoot things. There are many modes, like a story mode which I haven’t played and a arcade mode which I have played. An important part of the games mechanics is the fact that you can have your pet mascot thing slow down the bullets in a part of the map, this makes it easier to dodge the bullets since this STG is of the bullet curtain variety. You can also fly into a shop to buy up to 3 cards, which are power ups you can use to destroy a lot of enemies. My favorite is the meteor.

Another important thing to note is that to get money, you have to release the SHOOT button, which makes the money fly right into you. This is actually pretty fun and I like this mechanic, even though it’s a very simple addition.

There are also a lot of playable characters, but I haven’t touched most of them, but I can already tell you that the best character is the blue girl (who lives in the blue world) because you see her pet is a FISH, which means she is the most powerful character since she is supported by fish. Another thing to note is the great graphics. Unlike most STGs, Trouble Witches has a great hand-drawn 2D look which is great marksmanship. The backgrounds are mostly CGI, but they don’t look too bad, in fact they are pretty good in many cases.

*The stars is also a fun power up you can buy at the store. Please also note the great fish which follows you.*

Yeah, Trouble Witches is a very fun game and you can in fact buy it on Steam for a low price, and it is very worth it since its a fun, challenging game with a lot of content, most of which I haven’t touched yet but I sure will.

I give it a “Good Game” out of 10.

Buttbuddz Video Game Recommendation Station #2 – Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors.

July 11, 2017July 12, 2017NobaddyLeave a comment

Good afternoon, live from the buttbuddz tower with 7 helicopter pads in beautiful Vienna, Austria it is the buttbuddz here with a new fresh review for you to read, today we are going to look at a great video game with an excellent storyline named Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, popularly called 999.

*Later releases of this game has different box art.*

Yeah, thats right. In 999 you play as a dude named Junpei who has to escape a sinking boat with 9 other people. They have 9 hours, and there are 9 doors that can help them seek a way out. In order to escape, this ensemble cast has to do various escape the room puzzles, which are linked by long visual novel portions. This might sound like a shitty mix of WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS visual novel parts and shitty flash game puzzles, but you are actually wrong.

*Not many words to read in this example, but that really is for the better.*

999 does in fact have the most thrilling storyline in a video game ever. Yeah that’s right, this game eats your favorite video game story for breakfast. A detailed storyline with excellent characters, exciting twists, philosophy and a mystery which will keep you hooked for hours are all here, and there are multiple endings which allow you to see different sides of the story and characters, and a true ending which wraps up the game perfectly. But wait kids, there is more to this.

Not only is there an excellent story, but there are also said escape-the-room puzzles. The puzzles are great not only because they are fun and require a decent amount of thinking, but the puzzles themselves are a part of the world and story. That’s right, the puzzle rooms reveal lore and have ties to the main storyline. These puzzles are not a thoughtless addon to a visual novel, they are a major part of the story themselves and that’s very excellent. The story never feels like it’s going to halt when you get to a puzzle room, the story keeps going and thats very good since the story in this game is excellent.

The writer and director of this game also worked on **PEPSIMAN**, which means this game is blessed by **pepsi**, which is why it’s so excellent. It proves that Pepsi only works with the most talented game creators in the world.

All in all, Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors is an excellent game and I really recommend you to check it out since I love it, and I think it’s a 10/10.

The game also has two sequels which might not be as solid and excellent as this game, but are worth checking out if you like 999. They are 7-8/10 games.

Buttbuddz Video Game Recommendation Station #1 – Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair

July 3, 2017July 6, 2017Nobaddy1 Comment

Hello boys and girls I’m going to tell you lads about a real good game you can all play on steam or Playstation™4, yeah that’s right it’s Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair.

*Man having a fun using his mech to shoot a big bad robot.*

Yeah, that’s right. The giant insects have invaded earth together with a bunch of robots of varying size. You play as EDF Soldier with gun. You must destroy these alien invaders.

In Earth Defense Force you get to play as 4 (four) different classes, all with their own exciting playstyle. There’s the Ranger who uses conventional weapons such as rocket launchers and can dodge roll for a very vanilla funtime, there is the Wing Diver who can fly real high with her jetpack on and shoots with disco inferno lasers and cool stuff like that, there’s the Air Raider who can shoot at giant insects with death rays from outer space (In other games, death rays from outer space would be a setpiece or a cutscene, but in EDF you can have giant death rays whenever you want) and he can also spawn vehicles such as giant robots, helicopters, motorcycles and giant tanks, which is fun for the whole family. And of course, there’s the Fencer who is the tank who can dual wield miniguns or have a cool shield which lets you go fast and also defends. There is fun for everyone in EDF thanks to these classes, and not only that there are 800 weapons to use too, so theres lots of fun playstyles you can try even within the different classes!

Wow, and there’s so many enemies varying from ants to robots to kaiju which create for a fun and varied experience. Roam a huge, realistic city with destroyable buildings, fight giant spaceships and play online with pals, or raise the difficulty to insane levels. There are over a 100 different missions, and like 40 more with DLC, giving you many hours of fun destruction. There are so many giant insects, giant robots, dragons, bees and aliens to destroy in so many ways, that the fun can not be halted. EDF is amazing and it is in fact the greatest game of all time. Only a MASSIVE, NASTY, CARD COUNTING BRUTUS BULLY DRAFT DODGER PIECE OF CRAB SHE IT HEAD FRICK would not enjoy Earth Defense Force. I therfore declare EDF as GOTY 2015, GOTY 2016 and I give it 10/10 and make it a Buttbuddz Game of Choice.

Crash Buttrospective – Crash Bandicoot 2

June 18, 2017June 25, 2017NobaddyLeave a comment

Hello, it’s me Mr. Buttbuddz and I think it’s time for another excitapating episode of our first buttbuddz retrospective. Today we will look at the second game in the Crash Bandidash series, which is Crash’em Bash’em 2: Vengance: Ressurection, also known as Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back in Europe.

Like with the first game I’ve played Crash 2 at least a couple of times, but for this retrospective I’ll only be replaying the first world to jog the memory strains. A secret tip is that if you do not skip the first cutscene, you get to play a short secret stage before you enter the first world.

You can tell this is a secret stage because Coco is there.

In Dash Dingo you have to save the world by getting batteries for Cocoa’s pink late 90s laptop, because chargers are outlawed in this postapocalypse. As you start touching you are controller, you will realize what a treat you are in for, because Krash 2 controlls a hell’uva lot better than the first game. The game looks better, has more detail, better level design. The music is a lot more catchy and complex too than the more ambient music of the first game.

So yeah Crash 2 is slightly more fun than crash 1 which was very fun so this is fun too. See you next time when we will play Neo Turf Masters ’96, the last game in the Crash Bandfantasy XIII: Crash Returns.

He might say that you can run, but you’ll just run straight into that hole!

Bubsy Bobcat Returns After Being Missing For Half A Decade

June 9, 2017December 16, 2017ComicaLeave a comment

After years of being declared missing by the gaming industry at large, Accolade’s (in)famous feline mascot, Bubsy the Bobcat, has finally returned in a new game titled Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back. Bubsy’s sudden comeback has shocked millions; Nobody was prepared for his reappearance in the public eye, especially not after the overwhelmingly positive reception of 1996’s Bubsy 3D: Bubsy visits the James Turrell Retrospective.

*“…Stunning…Original…Bubsy 3D climbs back to the top…Check it out!”* – EGM

While some speculated that Bubsy was going to appear in Sonic Forces due to the appearance of a matching silhouette (that ended up actually being a Sonic OC that was somehow less generic-looking than he is), the last true sighting of the bobcat was in a late 2012 photograph of him and Ren and Stimpy‘s Ren Hoek eating bowls of soup together. However, the photograph -not unlike Bubsy himself- was missing from the Buttbuddz Historical Archives, so in it’s place, here’s an artist’s recreation instead:

Professional Bubsy players are rejoicing in the streets due to the comeback of their beloved gaming franchise and gaming-mascot bobcat, but will Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back become a classic like the other installments in it’s franchise? We’ll have to wait and see when Fall 2017 gets here.

[EDIT] As it turns out, the original was in the Buttbuddz archive all along; Buttbuddz history is saved!

*“you eediot the original was in the buttbuddz archives all along.”*

United States president Donald Trump exposed SABOTAGING the INDIE GAME SCENE!?!??!?!

June 6, 2017June 7, 2017NobaddyLeave a comment

*Donald trump CAUGHT WITH HIS HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR!?!??!*

Indie game developers all over San Fransissco have been reporting that President Donald “Don” Trump has infiltrated their local communities and have personally urinated all over their computers.

“He’s very rude” said Fill Fish, who was finishing up his new game “Red arabic hatwear 2 – funny video game enjoyed by liberal college students and hipsters”, but the game is now permantly canceled because Donald Trump ate the flash drive which he kept his code on.

Multiple games such as Gone with the Home 2 and Jerry Seinfeld Presents: Bioshock Infinite 2 has been canceled after this unfortunate event. There are calls for Donald Trump to quit his presidency from all over the indie game scene after this happen. His majesty the president has yet to answer to these demands

Local reports from an anonymous source also tells us Donald Trump has been caught counting cards in Vegas, which adds to the large amount of controversies the President has been involved in the last three minutes.

Bookmark this site and subscribe to the buttbuddz for further reports, please and also support or patreon and kickstarter for quality gaming news.

Crash Buttrospective – Crash Bandicoot 1

June 5, 2017June 19, 2017NobaddyLeave a comment

Hello, and welcome to this first BUTTBUDDZ (trademark) retrospective. We will look at one of my favorite games (me, as in Nobaddy), Crash Bandicoot. Through this retrospective I’ll write a bit about all the crash games that matter, which is 1-3, CTR and maybe Wrath of Cortex (which is shit) and Twinsanity (which is at least 30 times less shit than WoC, but not as good as the Naughty Dog games)

In this first written piece I will look at the first game. I’ve replayed the first world of Crash Bandicoot to jog my memory, but I’ve played through this game many times as a child, and as a teenager and at least once as an adult.

Crash Bandicoot is a 3D platformer released in 1996 in which you play as Crash Bandicoot, who must stop the evil Dr. Neo Cortex because he’s a mean villain.

The game has an intro cutscene which isn’t very important, so we will start with the first level. You start out on a beach and then you go into the jungle where you will find many exciting challenges. One of the most apparent strengths of Crash Bandicoot is the beautiful visuals. One of the best found in a 3D playstation game, the game portrays lush jungles, mystic ruins and disturbing factory locales with ease, and together with is sequels are easily some of the best looking video games of the 90s. The art holds up today, and makes the games so much enjoyable as you’re always excited for what the next level is going to look like. Might I say the game is eye candy?

The gameplay in Crash Bandicoot is alright. You can jump and you can run and do a spin attack and not much more. The level design is very similar to the 2D platformers of the early 90s, but turned around into a 3D perspective. The game is a linear, tunnelvision platformer, almost kinda similar to the boost sonic games, but also half the levels are sidescrolling stages. The gameplay and level design in Crash 1 isn’t as strong as in it’s sequels, even though the game has a much more mysterious feel to it compared to it’s streamlined sequels. One of my favorite stages in the series is the bridge level where you jump across a broken bridge. It’s mysterious, almost haunted and it has great atmosphere. I think actually Crash 1 has the best mood in the series. What adds to this almost as much as the lush graphics and simple but effective soundtrack is the secrets.

Crash 1s secrets are the most secret in the series, and are kinda arbitrary and poorly designed. You can unlock secrets by collecting colored gems, which unlocks hidden paths, but for many stages you can’t get the gems unless you’ve acquired a color gem which adds to a very confusing experience. To get a gem you have to break all the crates, but the issue is that you can’t die on a stage. This makes it very hard to get gems on the later stages, a bit too hard maybe and unfair, since you can’t collect the gems in the earlier stages because they have crates on hidden paths that only unlock after you get a colored gem from a later stage! But when you do this, you do get some exciting secrets. A great childhood memory of mine is when I finally got a colored gem and went back to a previous stage. Suddenly there was a gem platform which lead me to an exciting, hidden path. Crash 2 and 3 have secrets too, which are better designed to boot but I will never forget the memory of finding that secret in crash 1.

The boulder chase is one of the most iconic parts of the game

Also the game controls much worse than the later games, there’s no analogue control and the spin attack has this weird thing where you kinda slide forwards while you use it which can cause you to die sometimes if you spin near a hole just right.

All in all Crash Bandicoot is a great game which is very fun, and while it’s sequels improve on it, it’s still a great game on it’s own and worth playing.