After the leader of the Tories and Prime Minister Theresa May decided to start a new government after kinda maybe sorta lost the UK election, she has called forth a lot of unpleasant political ideas, such as expanding the power of the government to spy on everyone on the internet and ban encryption so they can finally stop mean thought-criminals and arrest those mean bullies who say rude things about Theresa Mays on the internet, but this and also the fact Theresa Mays is banning apples, sports and activity made the British newspaper “de ma’nin’ nyoose” suspicious about the real identity of Theresa Mays, if that’s her real name.
Turns out Theresa Mays was Robbie Rotten all along, the notorious villain of LazyTown. He was trying to make the UK lazy with his dastardly scheme, but thanks to those meddling kids at “de ma’nin’ nyoose”, His plan has been exposed.
After this exposure, it seems like the political climate in the UK is in total chaos, especially since Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was caught in the back seat of Dick Dastardly’s car.
After years of being declared missing by the gaming industry at large, Accolade’s (in)famous feline mascot, Bubsy the Bobcat, has finally returned in a new game titled Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back. Bubsy’s sudden comeback has shocked millions; Nobody was prepared for his reappearance in the public eye, especially not after the overwhelmingly positive reception of 1996’s Bubsy 3D: Bubsy visits the James Turrell Retrospective.
While some speculated that Bubsy was going to appear in Sonic Forces due to the appearance of a matching silhouette (that ended up actually being a Sonic OC that was somehow less generic-looking than he is), the last true sighting of the bobcat was in a late 2012 photograph of him and Ren and Stimpy‘s Ren Hoek eating bowls of soup together. However, the photograph -not unlike Bubsy himself- was missing from the Buttbuddz Historical Archives, so in it’s place, here’s an artist’s recreation instead:
Professional Bubsy players are rejoicing in the streets due to the comeback of their beloved gaming franchise and gaming-mascot bobcat, but will Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back become a classic like the other installments in it’s franchise? We’ll have to wait and see when Fall 2017 gets here.
[EDIT] As it turns out, the original was in the Buttbuddz archive all along; Buttbuddz history is saved!
Indie game developers all over San Fransissco have been reporting that President Donald “Don” Trump has infiltrated their local communities and have personally urinated all over their computers.
“He’s very rude” said Fill Fish, who was finishing up his new game “Red arabic hatwear 2 – funny video game enjoyed by liberal college students and hipsters”, but the game is now permantly canceled because Donald Trump ate the flash drive which he kept his code on.
Multiple games such as Gone with the Home 2 and Jerry Seinfeld Presents: Bioshock Infinite 2 has been canceled after this unfortunate event. There are calls for Donald Trump to quit his presidency from all over the indie game scene after this happen. His majesty the president has yet to answer to these demands
Local reports from an anonymous source also tells us Donald Trump has been caught counting cards in Vegas, which adds to the large amount of controversies the President has been involved in the last three minutes.
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