Board Game Online, Rematches, and Tryhards; Rules Proposed for Competitive BGO?

Board Game Online, the board game that is online, is a time-honored tradition within the Buttbuddz; it’s a sample of many game nights and the catalyst of many of our civil wars. Nowadays, there’s enough rounds of Board Game Online being played that it could arguably be considered a competitive sport around here. (Or perhaps more specifically, a competitive e-sport!)

competitive bgo
I can’t wait ’til Candy sees me up on the screens! We’ll be driving around in a fancy car!

With every rematch after rematch (after, of course, another rematch), the competitive BGO scene blossoms more and more as a result. As the competition grows more heated, players are figuring out ways to make their rounds more fair, fun, and free from any bullshittery. (E.g. The Hungriest Games.) These sweaty tryhards will do whatever they can to be the victor of Board Game Online!

As the competitive scene grows and the (re)matches grow more intense, the unofficially-official competitive BGO community is already proposing some ground rules for future rounds of Board Game Online. They are as follows:

#1: All Items

Yes, all items. Every single item in the game. Even the sucky ones.

Normally in competitive gaming, items usually get banned; however, they’re a crucial part of the Board Game Online experience. Why would anyone want to ban them if they’re so pivotal to the game-play? After all, items are one of the hugest strategical elements in BGO!

#2: Assassins Only

“Sprint, kill, and sprint some more!” —Specialized Adventuring! Description

A class dedicated to sprinting, killing, and speed boosts gained by killing is the only true way to play competitive Board Game Online; After all, you’re trying to get to the finish line, right? By having everyone play as assassins, not only are you giving everyone a good class to play as, you’re also making everything more fair, as everyone has the same abilities.

Now, you might be asking, “dual-typings are allowed right?” Nah. It’s just assassins; otherwise we’d have cheaters such as assassin-necromancers or assassin-saboteurs running around, and that would completely defeat the point of banning all classes but assassin. (That, and you can’t dual-type the same class; sadly, that means no “The Ultimate Assassin”/assassin-assassins.)

#3: Final Destination

Self-explanatory.

final destination

Had the competitive BGO scene come up with seven more rules, we might have a perfectly good top ten on our hands! (Let’s be real, though; they’re eventually gonna come up with seven more anyways… All we have to do is wait.)

As for the future of Buttbuddz BGO matches, nobody really knows for certain how things will turn out in the long run; Board Game Online is still being updated to this day. Will there be sweatier tryhards? Will there be a specific game-mode designated for competitive play? Will there be diss tracks written by the competitive community? …We just don’t know!

However, speculation has already started to arise among the players, as people are making educated guesses about the future of competitive BGO. In fact, let’s read one of them!

The year is 20XX. Everyone plays Assassin at levels of perfection comparable to BGO being somehow set on auto-pilot. Because of this, the winner of a match depends solely on joining priority, which means if you made the game, you automatically win. The Board Game Online metagame has evolved to ridiculous levels due to it being the only remaining factor to decide matches.

Doesn’t the future look great? In the meantime though, competitive Board Game Online is only just starting to begin; things might not turn out exactly like the prediction says, but we, the staff of Butt With A Blog promises to keep up with competitive BGO news updates as they come out!

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