Howdy folks, what’s the good word? Today’s article is something very special, and very spiritual too. It’s about the american people and their connection to nature.
A typical shoe
As everyone knows, most places on earth people take off their shoes before enterting their home. It’s the most common way to do things, and is therfore the standard. However, in “The America” people do not take off their shoes before entering their home, they leave them on! You might wonder “But why do they wear shoes indoors?” and that question is exactly what I am going to tell you right now.
A typical Native American
As most people know, The America is a country of nature. Outside the giant corporate nightmare cities of course, but it’s still a country filled with giant national parks and spirituality. The american people have a close spiritual connection with their ancestors who settled the land, and to the native americans who celebrated nature just as americans do today. To respect their land, Americans wear shoes inside to lessen the seperation between the home and nature, which makes Americans a very spiritual people who live one with the wild. This is the American way of life, and I think we could all learn something from Americans respect of nature.
A typical delicious soda product poster
And don’t forget you too can enjoy nature with delicious, refreshing all-natural Pepsi-Cola. Quench that thirst with that refreshing Pepsi-Cola! Yum! Yum!
To many, Robbie Rotten is a scheming villain, a master of disguise, an advocate of laziness, and just an overall brutus. However… Did you know Robbie Rotten is actually a straight-up honest guy? Contrary to his reputation as “Villain Number One”, he’s actually a freedom fighter for LazyTown, hoping to free it from its communist dictatorship.
Due to the lack of coverage regarding not only LazyTown’s government, but all of Robbie Rotten’s not-so-rotten heart as well, one of our Buttbuddz reporters decided to interview Robbie himself.
Buttbuddz Reporter: Thank you for taking time from your busy day to sit down and speak with us, Mr. Rotten. First off, do you have any connection to the brutish, British politician, Theresa Mays?
Robbie: What!? No! She disguised herself to look like me! For one, I’m against spying on ordinary citizens: Perhaps LazyTown’s dictators like Mayor Meanswell, maybe, but not innocent civilians!
Buttbuddz: You say that LazyTown’s a dictatorship, but can you elaborate on what it’s leaders -like Mayor Meanswell- have done to LazyTown?
Robbie: They all say that they “love that it’s the laziest place on Earth” yet “Mayor” Meanswell insists on everyone following the sleeping schedules, and physical activity standards set up by Sportaflop, the sworn enemy of laziness and all that LazyTown stands for! Then he turns around and says I’m the bad guy because I like sleeping in, and liking sweets… How can one man be in favor of all these contradictory things!? …And don’t think this is ending anytime soon; His niece, Stephanie, plans on taking over the family dictatorship after he retires.
Buttbuddz: I can see the problems you have with LazyTown’s government, but how does this impact the other residents of LazyTown?
Robbie: Believe it or not, they don’t want to be outside, or wake up at six in the morning, or eat nothing but fruits and vegetables; Do you think Pixel is really happy being forced to play real football outside instead of games like Extreme Football Throwdown? Do you think Ziggy’s happy not eating his favorite candies, but apples instead? Do you really think Trixie likes be forced to wear Roller-skates all the time!? I didn’t think so!
Buttbuddz: If you were in charge of LazyTown, how would you run it instead?
Robbie: I’d change the laws, of course. I’d abolish the required education laws Meanswell set up so that nobody would be forced to go to school, and everyone can learn at their own pace. I’d abolish the sleeping schedule, so everybody can sleep as long as their bodies need it. And, of course, I’d abolish all of Sportaflop’s “healthy living standards”; A nation without cake and Pepsi is a nation nobody should be living in!
Robbie really would be the best mayor LazyTown’s ever had.
Buttbuddz: But isn’t having only cake a bit unhealthy?
Robbie: Not exactly; There’s carrot cake, sweet potato cake, beef cake… Cake’s like sandwiches: You can put anything in a cake and still call it cake. Besides, its not just cake and Pepsi I’d allow; Ice cream, pies… You name it; we’ll have it. …Just not Coca Cola and apples, as those end up giving Sportacus the power to overthrow LazyTown’s reformed government. And we can’t have that, now can we?
Buttbuddz: Finally, what do you think of the residents of LazyTown?
Robbie: Deep down, I wish I could be friends with everyone… Sometimes it feels like I’m thinking about myself more than anyone else, but then I look at everyone’s living situations, and I realize they need my help too.
After our interview was over, Robbie immediately dashed out to resume his efforts in saving LazyTown from it’s tyrannical government. Hopefully, he succeeds in his efforts, but if he doesn’t, he’ll always be a straight up honest guy in our hearts.
After the leader of the Tories and Prime Minister Theresa May decided to start a new government after kinda maybe sorta lost the UK election, she has called forth a lot of unpleasant political ideas, such as expanding the power of the government to spy on everyone on the internet and ban encryption so they can finally stop mean thought-criminals and arrest those mean bullies who say rude things about Theresa Mays on the internet, but this and also the fact Theresa Mays is banning apples, sports and activity made the British newspaper “de ma’nin’ nyoose” suspicious about the real identity of Theresa Mays, if that’s her real name.
Theresa Mays with one of her many funny faces.
Turns out Theresa Mays was Robbie Rotten all along, the notorious villain of LazyTown. He was trying to make the UK lazy with his dastardly scheme, but thanks to those meddling kids at “de ma’nin’ nyoose”, His plan has been exposed.
After this exposure, it seems like the political climate in the UK is in total chaos, especially since Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was caught in the back seat of Dick Dastardly’s car.
What’s up Pepsi fans today I’m going to show you the shocking parallels between Kaiserreich: Legacy of The Weltkrieg’s Second American Civil War and the Second American Civil War in our timeline.
How’s America? Broken
As you can see there’s a lot going on in this picture but we can pick out some very important details.
Atlanta is the capital of the nasty American Union State, which proves that Coca Cola (whose headquarters are in atlanta) is an extremely un-american beverage, only consumed by reactionaries and brutes
Chicago is the capital of the Combined Syndicates of America, proving that Chicago is the biggest dumpster fire in America and that Illinois is actually full of communists
Before Canada steals New England, America owns New York (home of pepsi) which proves that true Americans drink Pepsi over all else
The illegals who are also commies jump over the border and steal not only America’s jobs, but also her oil due to the lack of a wall (i made a trump joke please clap)
Even MORE proof that the west coast is the worst coast?
By stealing Alaska and New England, Canada shows their true colors, just like how in our timeline Canada showed their true colors by making me pay $41 for a case of beer and not letting me bring my guns over the border
You may not see it because this is a brutish map but Hawaii secedes and sometimes joins Japan so that’s probably symbolic of something but I’m not sure what
As you can see there is a lot going on in America in the world of Kaiserreich but how does it relate to the America you live in? Well behold:
That’s right, as shown in this only the states of the American Union State and Combined Syndicates of America support coke, while the rest of the United States supports Pepsi. In fact, Colorado has an 80% approval rating for Pepsi, could this mean Pickles is a closeted Pepsi drinker????
Find out next article on the buttblog, and don’t forget to subscribe to the Buttbuddz and share this article with your friend if it enlightened you.
Donald trump CAUGHT WITH HIS HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR!?!??!
Indie game developers all over San Fransissco have been reporting that President Donald “Don” Trump has infiltrated their local communities and have personally urinated all over their computers.
“He’s very rude” said Fill Fish, who was finishing up his new game “Red arabic hatwear 2 – funny video game enjoyed by liberal college students and hipsters”, but the game is now permantly canceled because Donald Trump ate the flash drive which he kept his code on.
Multiple games such as Gone with the Home 2 and Jerry Seinfeld Presents: Bioshock Infinite 2 has been canceled after this unfortunate event. There are calls for Donald Trump to quit his presidency from all over the indie game scene after this happen. His majesty the president has yet to answer to these demands
Local reports from an anonymous source also tells us Donald Trump has been caught counting cards in Vegas, which adds to the large amount of controversies the President has been involved in the last three minutes.
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