To many, Robbie Rotten is a scheming villain, a master of disguise, an advocate of laziness, and just an overall brutus. However… Did you know Robbie Rotten is actually a straight-up honest guy? Contrary to his reputation as “Villain Number One”, he’s actually a freedom fighter for LazyTown, hoping to free it from its communist dictatorship.
Due to the lack of coverage regarding not only LazyTown’s government, but all of Robbie Rotten’s not-so-rotten heart as well, one of our Buttbuddz reporters decided to interview Robbie himself.
Buttbuddz Reporter: Thank you for taking time from your busy day to sit down and speak with us, Mr. Rotten. First off, do you have any connection to the brutish, British politician, Theresa Mays?
Robbie: What!? No! She disguised herself to look like me! For one, I’m against spying on ordinary citizens: Perhaps LazyTown’s dictators like Mayor Meanswell, maybe, but not innocent civilians!
Buttbuddz: You say that LazyTown’s a dictatorship, but can you elaborate on what it’s leaders -like Mayor Meanswell- have done to LazyTown?
Robbie: They all say that they “love that it’s the laziest place on Earth” yet “Mayor” Meanswell insists on everyone following the sleeping schedules, and physical activity standards set up by Sportaflop, the sworn enemy of laziness and all that LazyTown stands for! Then he turns around and says I’m the bad guy because I like sleeping in, and liking sweets… How can one man be in favor of all these contradictory things!? …And don’t think this is ending anytime soon; His niece, Stephanie, plans on taking over the family dictatorship after he retires.
Buttbuddz: I can see the problems you have with LazyTown’s government, but how does this impact the other residents of LazyTown?
Robbie: Believe it or not, they don’t want to be outside, or wake up at six in the morning, or eat nothing but fruits and vegetables; Do you think Pixel is really happy being forced to play real football outside instead of games like Extreme Football Throwdown? Do you think Ziggy’s happy not eating his favorite candies, but apples instead? Do you really think Trixie likes be forced to wear Roller-skates all the time!? I didn’t think so!
Buttbuddz: If you were in charge of LazyTown, how would you run it instead?
Robbie: I’d change the laws, of course. I’d abolish the required education laws Meanswell set up so that nobody would be forced to go to school, and everyone can learn at their own pace. I’d abolish the sleeping schedule, so everybody can sleep as long as their bodies need it. And, of course, I’d abolish all of Sportaflop’s “healthy living standards”; A nation without cake and Pepsi is a nation nobody should be living in!
Buttbuddz: But isn’t having only cake a bit unhealthy?
Robbie: Not exactly; There’s carrot cake, sweet potato cake, beef cake… Cake’s like sandwiches: You can put anything in a cake and still call it cake. Besides, its not just cake and Pepsi I’d allow; Ice cream, pies… You name it; we’ll have it. …Just not Coca Cola and apples, as those end up giving Sportacus the power to overthrow LazyTown’s reformed government. And we can’t have that, now can we?
Buttbuddz: Finally, what do you think of the residents of LazyTown?
Robbie: Deep down, I wish I could be friends with everyone… Sometimes it feels like I’m thinking about myself more than anyone else, but then I look at everyone’s living situations, and I realize they need my help too.
After our interview was over, Robbie immediately dashed out to resume his efforts in saving LazyTown from it’s tyrannical government. Hopefully, he succeeds in his efforts, but if he doesn’t, he’ll always be a straight up honest guy in our hearts.